Day 41 and I haven't even ovulated yet. Last cycle was over 90 days that ended with almost two weeks of bleeding. I'm not even sure if I ovulated last cycle, and this one is shaping up to be the same. I'm afraid that I won't be able to do this "naturally". I feel a lot of shame tied up in that. Shame that I can't do the one thing my body is supposed to do. Shame that i feel embarrassed by my inadequacies. Shame. Shame. Shame.
My mother in law last week made a dig that since she doesn't have grand babies yet she has to fawn over my sister in laws cat. It stung, she doesn't know how long we've been trying, but I just felt inadequate.
It's been hard. I think another person is pregnant. I feel that literally now everyone has gotten pregnant or had a child. For the first time I've had to block things on Facebook and Pinterest. It just got too hard to see other people's plans and not be at that point, after this long. A year ago I thought for sure I'd be pregnant and now....
So now I don't know what to do. Continue with the metformin and hope at some point ill ovulate? The thing is I don't know how much longer I can take 90 day cycles. The next step is to do clomid and iui. I think that's our best option, but again I feel ashamed that I couldn't get pregnant "on my own". I feel so alone and disheartened once again.
