I feel like I'm on a deserted island, except instead of writing day 51 and no people in sight, it's day 51 of no period. Seriously, day 51, or, "the time that we decided to start trying again and it was a bust but we can't try again because I'm being held captive"
I literally want to scream sometimes. I'm 80% sure it's a cyst again. Mother fucker, seriously?!! It hurts sometimes like a bitch on my left side, but it hasn't gone away and I'm stuck...
I keep waiting and waiting for something but bah.
And Dave tries to offer suggestions and help but he doesn't get it, which is frustrating, but sweet because he wants to help. Ugh, lets just get this over already
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Just Relax and It'll Happen
We're quickly coming up on a year and I'm no closer to being pregnant than this time last year. It's disheartening and frustrating. The hardest part is that I just feel so alone in this. I don't have any friends who can relate, my husband is at a loss and just says things like "relax" or "don't think about it too much". I know he's just trying to help but it just alienates me even further and withdraw him from everything even more so that he doesn't have to worry about me.
The b6 worked I think, my luteal phase has been extended by several days. No sign of af, but my temperature plummeted which doesn't bode well. I still took a test at the request of Dave on his birthday. Stark white as usual.
The logical part of me understands that there's a 20% chance every month, but then sometimes I think "okay we had sex every single day, so there has to be millions of sperm up there, since they last five days, and you're telling me not one of those suckers could get into the egg, seriously? Seriously?"
So now we wait some more, and I m at a total loss. Back to the drawing boarding I guess we will just hio until af makes her appearance.
The b6 worked I think, my luteal phase has been extended by several days. No sign of af, but my temperature plummeted which doesn't bode well. I still took a test at the request of Dave on his birthday. Stark white as usual.
The logical part of me understands that there's a 20% chance every month, but then sometimes I think "okay we had sex every single day, so there has to be millions of sperm up there, since they last five days, and you're telling me not one of those suckers could get into the egg, seriously? Seriously?"
So now we wait some more, and I m at a total loss. Back to the drawing boarding I guess we will just hio until af makes her appearance.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Shit
I'm cramping. I'm hoping that its just a phantom symptom and I'm thinking about it too much.
At this point I'm just hoping the b6 extends my cycle until Friday. I'm 9 days post o now, just one more day, just one more day. 9 days is too short for a pregnancy to be sustainable, so I just want the b6 to make it last longer.
Bottom line, I'm bummed about the cramps but a silver lining would be if it held off until Friday
At this point I'm just hoping the b6 extends my cycle until Friday. I'm 9 days post o now, just one more day, just one more day. 9 days is too short for a pregnancy to be sustainable, so I just want the b6 to make it last longer.
Bottom line, I'm bummed about the cramps but a silver lining would be if it held off until Friday
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